Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Water Evidence

On Friday, May 23rd, 2008 I wrote one of the worst blog entries in HamannEggs history. I can’t link to the post because I blog at barely a third grade level. Anyway, it was a lame attempt to prove why Elijah likes water more than other babies. My evidence? Eli likes baths. And sticking his hands in the dog’s dish. And messing with the toilet. Wow. I should’ve gone into advertising with convincin’ skills like that.

Well, yesterday Elijah gave me some more evidence that he loves water. In the form of trying to drown himself.

Diana and Eli and Grover headed down to the Evanston lakefront to take in the glorious day that changed America forever. Yay Obama!

Apparently they stood at the water’s edge watching Grover splash in the lake when all of a sudden Grover decided he was a world class swimmer. He took off towards Michigan doing whatever stroke dogs do. The backstroke? So Diana waded out to call Grover back to the shore. At which point Eli decided he wanted to visit Michigan as well. He toddled out into the surf and promptly got knocked face first into the murk by a rogue wave.

Diana grabbed him by his hood and hoisted him to safety. But he was covered in cold cold water. According to Diana, as soon as she set his soaking butt down in the sand, he ran back towards the lake again and went face first into the drink.

Hypothermia is not high on Diana’s list of things to cure Elijah of, so she stripped him down to his diaper and stuffed him back into his car seat.

So there. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Elijah loves water more than your kid does.

You know what? This post is kind of lame too. I’m not going to write anymore about water. It’s my writer’s kryptonite.

p.s. I don’t have any photographic evidence of the event. So pretend the bowl of candy is the lake, and the Elmo costume is filthy water mixed with crack vials and syringes.

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