Friday, September 19, 2008

I Guess It’s Finding Nemo

It was never a matter of if Elijah would become obsessed with a Pixar movie, it was a matter of when.

It could be the fact that I ever so gently nudged him into watching them. By making them the only movies I ever play. Because I like Pixar movies. And I’ll be damned if Elijah becomes obsessed with the repeated viewings of some piece of schlock like, “Mr. Fluffy Bunny’s Rhyming Adventures in Torturing Rick Hamann” or “Tween Nubile Disney Actors Who Make Rick Hamann Uncomfortable.”

So Di and I introduced him to “Cars” and Eli’s review was, “’Cars stalls after opening credits.” “Monster’s Inc’s” Eli review was, “’Monsters Inc can’t scare up any attention after five minutes.” And so on and pun-filled so forth.

But from the moment we threw in “Finding Nemo” the boy was transfixed. He freaking loved it. He laughed, he clapped, he demanded to see it again. And again. And again. One of his new words is “Nemo.”

Diana and I will be making dinner or petting Grover and Eli will pad over with the DVD case. How is it that it takes me 45 minutes to find “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” among our 10,000 jumble of DVDs and he can find Nemo in three seconds. Even when I try to hide it?

It’s been used so often that there are great scratches all over the surface of the DVD. Mostly from scratchy little baby fingers pawing it like an idol. So we can barely get through twenty minutes before the film gets pixilated and jumpy. At which point Eli becomes enraged, shouts at the ceiling and shakes his fists. I get a little bit of a sick thrill watching him turn into the Incredible Hulk. Don’t tell anyone.

I’m waiting for someone to create disposable movies so I can buy a 20 pack. Wait a minute. Someone call the patent office and tell them to scrap my plans for the robotic diaper changer and put this at the top of the list!

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