At Least We Missed Him

Diana and I celebrated our 4-year anniversary this weekend. We made it through the entire second Bush term intact. I can hardly believe it was just four years ago we were in Washington DC protesting arm in arm. And now I’m voting Palin/McCain.*

We decided to celebrate the collapse of the American economy by spending the night in Chicago and spending a very Republican amount of money on a hoity toity dinner with twelve courses and as many forks.

Dad and Connie volunteered to stay with Elijah for the night. I was irrationally nervous about handing him over to my parents. Not because I thought they wouldn’t know how to handle a baby (can they crack to code that grunting and pointing to a bowl of grapes means he wants grapes?). No, I was worried that Eli would be confused by non parents and freak out and cry hysterically and, if I’m being honest, make us come home from our non-refundable reservations.

The moment Dad and Connie arrived, Eli ran over and gave them both hugs and laughed his happy laugh. As Diana and I packed up our overnight bags, Eli continued his laughter with his grandparents. I thought, “It would be ok if he showed a little concern we were leaving.” Diana and I said goodbye and I thought, “OK. He can cry now. Mama and dada are leaving. Cry. Come on. Give me one cry. Cry!”

But Eli barely noticed we were leaving. He simply said, “Bye bye,” and went back to explaining how to play Finding Nemo on the DVD player in baby talk.

Grover, on the other hand, was mortified we were leaving. Good boy.

Right before we arrived at the super expensive restaurant, I called my brother, who was over visiting. I asked how Eli was doing and he could be honest if Eli was inconsolable with us not there. By way of answer, Steve pointed the phone at Eli, who was shrieking with glee and chasing his cousins. The little stinker.

I know it reveals some major flaw in my character that I was wishing my son couldn’t survive mentally without us.

In retaliation, we spent his college tuition on drinks at the top of a fancy downtown hotel.

When we arrived home the next morning Eli and his grandparents were playing out front. He was very happy to see us (thankfully for him).


*If you think I'm voting Republican, I invite you to re-read everything I've written on the subject.