Father’s Day #2

I think we’ve established that the greatest Father’s Day gift in the world is sleep. So I soaked up my present like that one Disney character who slept a long time in a glass case or something. And had to be kissed to wake up. I think it was Goofy.

But, to my surprise I had additional presents. Elijah gave me Tim Russert’s books. Not to get off track, but Di and I shed tears over the loss of the Meet The Press host this week. He was among other things a wonderful father.

Ok, back to me. Grover gave me a t-shirt. I have no idea how he managed to get out of the house, walk all the way downtown, conduct a business transaction with no money and yet still know I’m a size medium. Good boy.

Di bought me a boom box. Are they still called “boom boxes?” I feel like the term was retired along with Bill Cosby’s sweaters. She also cleaned up a fossilized Grover poop in the basement from roughly 1914, which is technically my job.

We then took the family to the dog beach and frolicked in the pollution. I tried to cram an ice cream bar into Elijah’s mouth. His hatred of sugary treats will save us hundreds in baby liposuction.

The day will conclude in a few hours with my favorite dinner: overpriced sushi.

ATTENTION. This next section will be unfunny and emotional. Cynics stop reading.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m the luckiest man on the face of the Earth. I find Father’s Day the perfect time to reflect on everyone else who isn’t the father in this tribe.

Diana is the wonderful, beautiful glue that holds my life in orbit. I love her more today than I did yesterday. And yesterday was the most a person has loved another person ever. And the boy? I don’t think there is a word in the English language that can describe my love for him. I’ll have to make one up. How ‘bout “Glorpostallish?” And the dog is pretty damn glorpostallish too.

p.s. Happy Father's Day to my dad, Ed Hamann.

p.s.s. Peter Kintz, the dad of one of HamannEgg’s favorite friends, Jenn Goodrich, had a stroke last Sunday. Let’s gather up all the good vibes and send them Peter’s way. Ok? Ok.