Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Eli: 1 Floor: 0

Sorry this has been another light blog week. It’s not for lack of hilarious scatological stories. Let me dial the way back machine to last Sunday (cue harp music).

Di had some work to do, so I took the boy during the night time shift. After his bath I took him upstairs for some naked crazies. And believe me, it was crazy.

Lemmie back up a second. Elijah has a harsh case of diaper rash. We think it’s because he eats so much fruit, which makes him poop and makes his poop acidic. Regardless, his butt looks like a baboon.

I read somewhere that a good way to deal with diaper rash is to let air get on it. In other words, let him have naked crazies. I think I read it in “A Lazy Dad’s Guide To Parenting.”

So I let him go nuts upstairs, sans clothes. He was free and easy and I was relaxing in the rocking chair catching up on his stack of baby books. Did you know bananas were yellow?

Eli scooted by with a hilarious grin on his face. And when I caught sight of him southbound, I noticed some, uh, evidence on his butt. Poo evidence. I leaned over and said, “What did you do?” He screeched like a monkey and attempted to swing on the baby gate.

I extracted him from the gate and walked into our room. Yep, you guessed it. A perfectly formed poo on our floor. Thankfully, it was on Di’s side of the bed. I called for Di, who came running upstairs and stopped short at ground zero. She took one look at me and said, “No more naked crazies.”

Then she went downstairs to finish her work and left me for cleanup duty.

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