Herr Hamann

Hey Gang,

Things have been pretty tough here at Hamanneggs. Diana’s situation has gotten unbelievably worse. They decided to add migraines to her list of ailments. So she has to stay in a darkened room, listening to her baby, who she can’t hold, cry two feet away. It’s like a bad movie of the week. I think a much thinner Valerie Bertinelli will play Diana. I, of course, will be played by the guy who was Arnold Horshack.

Thankfully, the Hamanneggs universe has stepped up big time. Diana’s dad was full time daddy for most of the week. And Kitty/Pam have assumed the roll of mommy. And I’ve actually begun enjoying the night shift. In the same way people enjoy pushing thumbtacks through their fingers.

On a hugely conflicted note, we won the Porsche business. Which means I have to fly to Germany on Sunday. Effectively abandoning the family unit for one week at the worst time in our family’s history. Diana assures me that she’s cool with it. But I imagine that’s the drugs talking. We’re moving the family unit to Diana’s folks so little Eli can get 24 hour grandparent time. I’ll be buying them the largest beer stein I can find.

Two quick stories:

When Diana’s dad, Don, showed up early Tuesday to watch Elijah, I had an obsessive list of instructions for Eli care. Again, completely forgetting the man raised 5 kids. I was writing out how to change a diaper when Di’s dad called me from the living room. “Hey Ricky, check this out!” I ran in to see Don had taught Elijah to feed himself with a bottle. “Look at him go!” I tore up my instructions.

Last night, Diana was in our darkened room, slowly moaning. I tip toed in and tried to comfort her. I gently kneeled by her and stroked her hair and whispered how much I loved her. She looked up with one, blood red eye and said, “Can…you…go…brush your teeth?” And promptly passed out.