Wednesday, November 12, 2014


If you remember a few weeks ago, we counter struck against Elijah’s bullies by putting him into guitar lessons. We figured guitar virtuosity would eventually turn Eli into the wife stealing Eric Clapton.  We ignored the George Harrison part of the equation.

I got the opportunity to take Eli to his first lesson at School of Rock.  I sat on the lobby couch searching the cushions for joints. The teacher eventually led Eli out of the lessons space and said, “Remember to practice every day, bro!”

That was the kiss of death for Eli. If Diana were there, she would have taken it as a suggestion. But since Mr. Yesman was there, practicing immediately became the most important thing in the world. To me.

Thus eliminating all the fun from guitar from that moment on.

My tactics for forcing Eli to practice were varied and each one less effective than the last.

I tried guilt. Mommy and Daddy spent a lot of money on this. Don’t you feel bad enough to practice? It was hard for Eli to hear me as he was adding toys to our cart.

I then went to ego. Don’t you want to be great at guitar? Don’t you want to steal George Harrison’s wife? Elijah’s expression was complicated. But I think the look in his eyes translated to, “I didn’t ask to do this. I never even wanted to play guitar. You and mommy panicked and then bought a bunch of stuff that you can’t return.

In the end, I went with the old standby. I took away all screen time until he practiced for 10 minutes.


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