Friday, February 7, 2014

Text Impersonations

This morning, I stumbled past a sleeping Grover and found Elijah at our computer.  He was trying to type in “Marvel Games” into Google.  His search read “Marvahl Gimes.”  I did a quick calculation predicting if that search would result in pornography (80% chance) and tussled his hair. 

He and I spoke not a word.  This was Eli’s special alone time.  He’s been waking up earlier and earlier to play on one of the four devices in our home he’s mastered. 

We allow it because, well, he lets us sleep in.  Sleep is more valuable than whatever attention deficit disorder is happening behind his eyeballs.  

The only time things get weird is when Eli assumes Diana’s identity on her iPhone.  No, he doesn’t don a black t-shirt wig like I do when I impersonate her.  He mainly pretends to be her to fill his social calendar.  In lieu of actual spelling, he uses Siri to do his dirty work.

He’s had long voice to text conversations with our neighbors that begin with, “Hi. This is Eli’s mommy.  Can Eli come over and play today?  But without Luca?”

I’ve received a few texts from this faux Diana.  “This is your wife Diana.  We should take Eli to McDonald’s.”  Wait.  That one may be legit.

Diana has taken to hiding her phone so she doesn’t wake up to road trip plans to Disney, or worse, play dates at Chuck E Cheese.

On another note, there was a great outpouring of support for yesterday’s post detailing Elijah’s first wiener drawing.  A few of you asked if we still had the original drawing.  Unfortunately, Diana threw it out.  And probably burned it.  And sprinkled the ashes on her original dreams of having a girl child.

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