This morning, I stumbled past a sleeping Grover and found
Elijah at our computer. He was trying to
type in “Marvel Games” into Google. His
search read “Marvahl Gimes.” I did a
quick calculation predicting if that search would result in pornography (80%
chance) and tussled his hair.
He and I spoke not a word.
This was Eli’s special alone time.
He’s been waking up earlier and earlier to play on one of the four
devices in our home he’s mastered.
We allow it because, well, he lets us sleep in. Sleep is more valuable than whatever
attention deficit disorder is happening behind his eyeballs.
The only time things get weird is when Eli assumes Diana’s
identity on her iPhone. No, he doesn’t
don a black t-shirt wig like I do when I impersonate her. He mainly pretends to be her to fill his
social calendar. In lieu of actual
spelling, he uses Siri to do his dirty work.
He’s had long voice to text conversations with our neighbors
that begin with, “Hi. This is Eli’s mommy.
Can Eli come over and play today?
But without Luca?”
I’ve received a few texts from this faux Diana. “This is your wife Diana. We should take Eli to McDonald’s.” Wait.
That one may be legit.
Diana has taken to hiding her phone so she doesn’t wake up
to road trip plans to Disney, or worse, play dates at Chuck E Cheese.
On another note, there was a great outpouring of support for
yesterday’s post detailing Elijah’s first wiener drawing. A few of you asked if we still had the
original drawing. Unfortunately, Diana
threw it out. And probably burned
it. And sprinkled the ashes on her
original dreams of having a girl child.
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