As I reported yesterday, we broke Luca when we switched him from a crib to a bottom bunk. He wakes up constantly, screaming bloody murder. He screams, “Uppie uppie!” He screams, “I want to go downstairs!” He screams in some kind of bizarre language of his creation, like an irate Jodie Foster in “Nell.”
Last night, I decided to get to the bottom of it by setting myself up, Jane Goodall style in the boys’ room. I shoved Luca over and lay down beside him, hoping to see what it is that triggers his rage.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, Luca suffers from Bumper Ache.
When Luca was in his crib, he would root around with his head until he got it good and wedged up against the padding around the railing. Otherwise known as a Bumper. This isn’t completely uncommon. In fact, a friend of ours who will remain nameless (Dan McNulty), still likes to wedge himself up against the wall when he sleeps.
All night last night, Luca would root around with his head, searching in vain for a railing that wasn’t there. Eventually, he’d wake up, angry and start screaming. I was there to rub his back and calm him down.
At one point, I got the idea to cram his head into my armpit to simulate the corner of his crib. It worked for a little while, but eventually the smell would get to him and he’d spin away in search for a less B.O. corner that was never there.
I also tried to simulate a bumper by lining his wall with stuffed animals and shoving his head into it. It just wasn’t as good as the real thing.
I’m hoping we can get Dan McNulty over to our house stat for a proper demonstration.