Monday, May 14, 2012

Mothers Day

I was out of town all last week locked in an intense maternity ward for ideas.  I came back late Friday to the dull realization that I had put exactly zero thought against Mother’s Day for Diana.  And I knew I couldn’t count on Elijah and Luca to do anything because they are lazy good for nothings.

Diana, in a pretty perfect articulation of why she is an awesome mother said, “I don’t want anything for Mother’s Day.”  Which made me want to do something extra special.  Something that would truly show how much she means to us.  Something big.  Something incredible.

But then I just decided to take the boys to Target instead.  I tried to prep them for the task at hand.

“Now guys, I want you to choose something Mommy would really like for Mother’s Day.”

“Like a toy?”  Eli asked.

“A fire engine!”  Luca chirped.

We arrive at the big red store and steered them away from the toy section.

“I want you to pick out Mommy’s present all by yourselves.  I’m not going to help at all.  This is all you.”

Elijah directed us to a wall of sunglasses and picked out a pair of Ray Ban knock offs.  I will admit I was kind of disappointed his selection wasn’t more insane.  But I stayed true to my oath that I wouldn’t try to influence them for my own comedic purposes.

Thankfully, Eli changed his mind and selected a pair of glasses that can be best described as a cross between “The Terminator” and “Truck Stop Escort.”

I immediately threw them into the cart and said, “Well, we need to find Mommy a dress to go with these glasses!”

We went to the ladies section and Luca immediately ran into the bras and panties section.  The comedic results could have been delicious.  But he emerged from the underwear section a little older, a little wiser, but empty-handed.

Meanwhile, Eli had fallen in love with a Muumuu the color of which causes near blindness.  I actually attempted to guide him to running pants or a sweatshirt or anything.  But he held firm. 

So we wrapped them up and presented them to Diana Sunday morning along with a big breakfast and a slew of hand made cards that actually communicated the proper message of love.

Diana called upon all of the acting ability from her days playing Little Orphan Annie and convinced our sons they had selected the greatest gifts in the history of the world.  Neither boy asked why Diana didn’t wear the outfit to her Dad’s house later that morning.

Diana did me the favor of wearing the outfit for today’s photo.  As you can see, it’s impossible to make her look anything but beautiful.

I love you, Di. 

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