Three Is A Crowd

Can we just establish once and for all that Kitty is beautiful and talented and really funny? And her allowing of us to squat in her Colorado cabin is the greatest thing to ever happen in the world?

But let’s back it up to a few weeks ago. My Chicago Pal, Mike Ronkoske, won the “Spend The Weekend With The Characters of ‘HamannEggs’” contest. We spent a lot of that weekend on snow covered mountains and in bars and generally abandoning Diana to take care of the boys.

To make it up to her, I offered to be in 100% charge of the boys while we went to Kitty’s cabin. That way she could have fun with Kitty, but still be close enough to see the boys dismantle my brain.

Said dismantling occurred between the hours of 1-5am Saturday night.

Luca is not a terrible sleeper. But he is particular. He demands complete silence and darkness. His bare feet need to be exposed and he must have 3 pacifiers within arms reach. He must have his rotten Curious George next to his body and his blankey has to be gently draped over his face. He has to have a white noise machine cranked and his crib bumper must be present.

None of these things were available at Kitty’s. I’ll take responsibility for 99% of it. I’m a terrible packer. Elijah arrived with one pair of underpants to last him all weekend.

Anyway, Luca spent the hours of 10pm-midnight in his empty Pack ‘N Play screaming, ‘MOOOMMMMMYYYY!” over and over. Eventually, Diana left to go sleep in one of the other 50 rooms in the cabin. I opted to stay and silently curse myself for agreeing to be in charge.

Eventually, I scooped the screamer up and put him into bed with me. Knowing he just won the lottery, he quieted down and fell asleep. Over the next several hours, I learned this about my son: he is an active sleeper. He kicks. He flails his arms. He squirms around like a worm. At one point, he sat up straight and brought his forehead down on my nose with blow so savage, the room lit up like it was midday.

Oh, and did I mention Elijah joined us? At 2 or 3am, he climbed into bed and I protested, “There are plenty of other beds IN THIS ROOM you can sleep in.” Eli responded with one of his deep sleep cries of terror.

So for the rest of the night Jimmy Legs Luca and Screaming Eli battled it out for who would cause me to smother myself with a flannel pillow.

And yet, the still managed to both wake up, happy and clams at 6am demanding to watch Kitty’s ancient VHS copy of “Charlotte’s Web.”