Wednesday, April 13, 2011


The only issue with forcing Elijah to watch Star Wars over and over like that kid from “A Clockwork Orange” is he’s probably been exposed to more death and dismemberment than a one-day-away-from 4 year old should.

And the whole death thing has been creeping into his vocabulary more than I like. He will shoot me with his tiny finger and shout, “I killed you, daddy!” I have to reprimand him about using the word “killed.” I say, “Don’t say ‘killed,’ that’s not nice. Say, ‘mortally injured.’”

The other day, Diana asked Eli if he had ever heard of God. He wasn’t quite sure of the concept, despite my prayer over the dead bird last summer.

Diana took it upon herself to explain the Man Upstairs.

“Well, God is this really great guy who lives up in the clouds and he watches over us, a lot like Santa Claus. And when you die, you get to see him.”

Big mistake. Elijah’s eyes filled with tears.

“I’M GOING TO DIE???????”

At this point, I imagine Diana donning a top hat and cane and tap dancing like Fred Astaire.

“Well, everybody dies…but it’s really great because you get to see your family and…”


This is where the story fizzles out. I think she distracted him with promises of birthday cupcakes and Star Wars killings.

I wonder if it made a lasting impact on him. Mostly when I have to comfort him at 4am when he’s screaming out in terror.

p.s. This is Elijah’s birthday present from my dad. I have never been so jealous of a 4 year old,

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