Monday, August 17, 2009

Kids Say The Darndest Things Pt. 1

With Elijah’s recent mastery of the English language, it’s tempting to turn this blog into a miniature version of Bill Cobsy’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things.” But, based on the blank-faced reactions of my co-workers, Eli’s cute little utterances are really only cute to Diana and me. So I’ll only blog about the really great ones.

This KSTDT is a bit old, but I had more important puke-blogging to do last week. It goes like this. Diana was at the computer during Elijah’s nap when she heard some rustling upstairs. Knowing she had put him in his crib (this was pre-coffin), she wondered if Grover was pitched in a heated battle versus rabid squirrels in our bedroom.

Once Di got to the base of our stairs, she discovered Eli had finally beaten the crib. He was standing at the top of the stairs, completely naked, in a pose that reminded me of Superman upon hearing about it.

So Diana called me and said I needed to strike the crib that night.

Unfortunately, I had to work late. So I rushed home, well after Eli was supposed to be in bed, grabbed a bunch of tools and set to dismantling. Now, many of your are wondering, “Why not wait until the next night or the weekend or some other time when Eli wasn’t trying to bed down?” I can’t remember. Not important to this story.

Some of you may also be wondering, “Doesn’t Rick become irate whenever he has to do manual labor? Particularly manual labor dealing with cribs?” Add to that it was way past Eli’s bedtime and you’ll get a good idea of my mood. Sour.

After taking out the mattress, I was trying in vain not to go buy a shotgun with which to shoot the crib (Wal-Mart was closed). Eli insisted on standing in the middle of the crib shell. I kept shooing him out, for fear one false move should bring the four crib walls down on top of him. But he insisted on crawling back in.

Eventually, I got the walls to the crib down. Eli took one look around and shouted, “I’m free! I’m free!”

Back to you, Mr. Cosby.

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