First Unrequited Love

Elijah is nothing if not verbal. The little chatterbox always has something to say. Mainly about elephants and his new favorite person, Steve (Ah Steeeeve?). He also loves the game “Can you say?” Where he mimics everything you utter. No, we don’t do swear words. We’re not his uncle. But there are two things he flat out refuses to say:

“Eli”
“I love you”

Whenever you ask him to say his own name or proclaim his love for you he gets this sheepish grin and cocks his head and bats his eyes in a “Well gosh” kind of way.

I have no idea why he won’t say his own name. Maybe he doesn’t like it. I knew we should have called him “Elephant Hamann.”

I guess I can understand the “I love you” thing. He just wants to be sure, you know? Not rush into anything. Especially since Diana and I have bathed, clothed, fed and changed his poopie diapers for 20 months.

But what completely baffles me is his refusal to fall in love with Ryan. Ryan is the cuter than cute daughter of Diana’s childhood friend, who just moved to Evanston. They’ve had many playdates and Ryan has fallen head over heels for Eli. And Eli, in a trait he inherited from his father, is completely clueless.

Over break I got to see Ryan attempt to get Eli to notice her. She hands him toys, which he immediately chucks. She runs by him while looking over her shoulder in an attempt to get him to chase her. Which ironically is how Diana got me. But he just busies himself with smashing blocks together.

After Ryan left from another bout of being ignored, I sat Elijah down for a man to man.

“Look, Eli. I don’t think you realize what a good thing you have with Ryan. She’s totally cute.”

“Ah Go Go?”

“He’s on the couch. I don’t mean to be rude, but I honestly don’t think you are going to do better than Ryan. I seriously think you should take the next step and actually acknowledge her existence”

“Ah Steve?

“He’s at his house with Finn.”

“Ah Finn?”

“Alright. I won’t push. But she isn’t going to wait forever. And Emmet from playgroup is just waiting for the right moment.”

“Ah Go Go?”