The Most Magical Place on Earth

 

We are extraordinarily lucky during this insanity. First and foremost, we are all miraculously healthy. My job remains intact. Diana’s business is flourishing (quarantine makes for thirsty people) and creature who lives in our crawlspace still slumbers.

 

Plus, we have a cabin. I feel kinda icky about it, given the fact that so many people don’t have even a first home. We try to clear our conscience by offering up the place to anyone who asks. Unless they want it on a weekend. That’s Hamann Time, fools.

 

The place does wonders for my outrageous blood pressure and stress related hair loss. Sometimes I even dance right up to the line of actual relaxation. Diana is totally in her element. She was made for weekends in the forest. The moment she arrives, Diana melts into a deck chair for 72 hours, occasionally rising to mutter the words, “Isn’t this great?”

 

The boys?  Who knows? They’ve moved on to better things. Namely, The Most Magical Place On Earth.

 

No, not Disney. We’re not monsters.

 

Our wonderful neighbors’ parents have a place in Indiana that makes our cabin look like an outhouse. No, not those wonderful neighbors. The other ones. A few weeks ago, they invited Luca to spend a couple days at their place. Those couple days turned into a week, which turned into another week. Elijah, sensing an upgrade, managed to get himself invited as well.

 

Despite being on their phones 24 hours a day, Diana would go several days without hearing from them. The only communication we’d receive was in the form of impossibly beautiful photos. The boys frolicking in Lake Michigan. The boys on a boat. The boys lighting howitzer sized fireworks. The boys signing adoption papers to officially join the wonderful neighbor’s family.

 

After another round of beauty pics, I would grumble, “We have cool stuff out here. We have…ticks. And that part of the roof that always leaks.”

 

One Sunday I drove to Indiana in the guise of picking the boys up. But I really just wanted to see this Shangri La for myself. I mean, how great could it be? Really?

 

Imagine the coolest place you can. Now, boost it up by 47%. Add some arches. And vines. Now add 25% more amazing architecture. No, not that much. They aren’t drug lords. There. That’s it. It’s that awesome. 

 

I prayed my tires would suddenly flatten and I would have to live there. But alas, Toyota makes a maddeningly reliable hybrid. So I was forced to drag the boys away and shove them into the car like cats into a bath.

 

We drove home and the boys had to go back to suffering through life with unlimited video games and pizza.