I can never remember what we call this whole sitting at home thing. Something in place? Shelter something something? The end times?
Whatever it is, our family falls into two distinct camps:
1. Giant bouts of activity.
2. Laying on the floor, face first.
Elijah and I fall into camp 2. Luckily, my job allows me to conduct much of my business in sad sweatpants, scraggly beard and a hairstyle best described as “difficult.” I just had a full conversation with Eli in which he discussed the ins and outs of E-learning while not releasing his lips from his filthy carpet. We’re doing great.
Diana and Luca, on the other hand, are more productive than ever. Diana is engaged in her own apocalyptic movie at the wine store. She fends off hordes of thirsty Evanstonians, shuffling bleary eyed towards her, moaning, “Beeeeer…whiskyyyyyyyyy.” She’s never been busier and happier.
Luca is also engaged in a fury of activity. He wakes before everyone and blasts through his E-learning so he can focus on his true love: building a Youtube empire. You know those videos where a dude plays a video game and then says stuff like, “LET’S GO BABY!” Yeah, they make no sense to me, either.
Luca tapes himself playing Fortnite and then adds supers, music and voice over where he says, “LET’S GO BABY!”
He works late into the night writing the perfect quips for his videos. It’s almost too adorable for words. Take a look at this one. Be sure to check out the end battle. I’ll wait:
Intense, huh? He’s my kid, but he’s also pretty good at killing other 10 year olds.
At the end of every video, he asks for people to subscribe to his channel. That’s the currency among his pals. Who has the most subscribers. They each have 28. Because there are 28 of them.
Wait. Maybe you all could subscribe! It’s like bringing your kid’s Girl Scout cookie sheet to work. I’m going to pimp my relationship with you to add to a meaningless number.
Do it. If you love me, do it. But if you are currently lying on your floor, don’t worry about it. I totally understand.
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