Raccoon

While we drove up to the cabin last weekend, Luca was bored. The cabin is boring. Driving is boring. We are boring. McDonald’s is boring. Boredom is boring.

I told him I read a New York Times article about how kids should be bored more. He asked me about the details, and I admitted I hadn’t made it past the headline. But rest assured a major publication wanted him to pipe down.

Once we got to the cabin, I was immediately put to work putting together a thing whose sole purpose was to make me angry. Luca spent that time walking from room to room, announcing how bored he was. I asked him to help me and then refused to let him do anything more than hand me screws.

I had a massive fit after realizing I made a critical and irreversible mistake on the thing, so Diana suggested I go outside with the other grouch.

Luca and I immediately entered a silent, beautiful wintry Michigan wonderland. Snow fell on our shoulders and we crunched through the forest, following the little creek that borders our property. We followed tracks obviously left by bears and tigers. We cracked huge chunks of ice. We squished our boots in frigid mud.

Occasionally, we’d look at each other and say, “This is the most fun I’ve ever had.” And we’d mean it.

My feet got a little cold from mud squishing, so I suggested we head back. On our walk back, Luca pointed out rusted wagon parts and old liquor bottles. Suddenly, we saw a dead raccoon. I was super excited to poke it with a stick. Poke poke poke.

I held out my poking stick to Luca and said, “You wanna get in on this poking?”

Luca said I was being disrespectful and suggested I pray for it. A child who had been to church three times in his life was suggesting I administer last rites to a rotting rodent. Nevertheless, I was touched and asked God to protect the raccoon and help guide him to raccoon heaven.

Satisfied, Luca and I crawled up the ravine to our house and told Elijah and Diana about our adventure.

Eli said, “Remember when we went to your office and saw that dead rat with the blood dripping out?