Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Baby’s First Groupie

On Sunday, Elijah had his first School of Rock recital. Or is it a gig? I think it’s a gig. He and I had similar dispositions of “Do we HAVE to do this?” But unlike Eli, I pretended to be excited about watching a group of 8-10 year olds mash electric instruments.

When we arrived at the venue, Luca raced to destroy the snack table and Eli admitted having butterflies in his stomach. I tried to tell a story about how Keith Richards throws up before every show but it morphed into Bill Russell and then I just told him it would all be over in a half hour.

Eli got over his stage fright the moment he hit the stage. He ordered everyone around and did some nice crowd work. “Hellooooo Evanston! I was driving down Dempster avenue (pause for cheers)…”

He and his little band mates blasted through 5 songs. I didn’t recognize any of them. Not because they played poorly, but because I’m old. My earlier negativity evaporated the minute Eli started singing and I cheered louder than anyone.

After his set, Eli came and sat down in my lap while we planned our escape before the next group hit the stage.

I spotted a cute little curly haired girl in the doorway. She was batting her eyes in my direction and made a little heart shape with her hands. While I was flattered, I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I mean, I was old enough to be her father. I then realized she was mooning at the boy in my lap.

Just then, the keyboard player from his band came racing up and breathlessly explained the curly haired girl’s name was London wanted to marry him very badly. Eli went out to investigate his potential life mate, but she hid under the snack table.

On the way to a celebratory dinner that was originally supposed to be whatever restaurant Eli wanted but ended up being chosen by the driver, I asked Eli what he thought about London being in love with him.

“I don’t know. I don’t like it.”

“What? That is the whole point of being in a band, man. Girls. You’ve just figured out the secret.”

Eli later announced he wanted to quit School of Rock and go back into Karate.

I told him he could do whatever he wanted, but the groupies would be a lot harder to come by.

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