Sunday, November 17, 2013


Last night, I had the rare opportunity to attend one of Diana’s wine classes at the store.  She was hilarious and knowledgeable and poured wine with a heavy hand.

At one point she was telling a story about balance between wine and food and she said, “It was kind of ‘Meh,” as my husband Rick would say…ARE YOU PLAYING ON YOUR PHONE?”

I was.  I was sending a message to my boss, which was no excuse.  It could’ve waited.  I’m addicted to that little device.  Even as I type this, I am highly tempted to jump on it and play that Star Wars quiz game that ranks you in the world on your Star Wars knowledge.  I’m #1 in Illinois.  Well.  I’m not sure if I still am.  You know what?  I better check.  I’ll be right back.

Okay.  Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Elijah is totally addicted to the iphone!  He is.  Completely and utterly.  Every morning when he wakes up, he sleepily reaches for Diana’s phone.  He steals it out of Diana’s purse when she isn’t looking.  If he is in the car for more than 2 minutes he begs to play it.  I’ve had to physically wrestle it from his hands after warning him about putting it down.

Diana has counted 50 open applications on her phone at any given time, which causes rolling blackouts around the North Shore.  Her phone goes missing for days on end because, while Eli is great at finding Diana’s phone, he’s terrible at finding it when he drops it underneath the couch when a bowl of grapes arrives.  And Diana is constantly, constantly receiving text alerts to Elijah’s conquests.  “You just completed a hamburger in the hamburger game!”

A few weeks ago, I peered in on the boys before going to sleep to whisper “I love you” to each of them.  However, I discovered a telltale glow seeping from underneath Elijah’s covers.  I threw back his blankets and found him playing Candy Crush or Angry Birds or something.  I simply held out my hand and he hissed at me.

So we’ve decided to limit his access to screens.  We give him a little time in the morning and then he has to take a break for the rest of the day.  Yes, we occasionally give in to his constant begging when fighting him just takes too much effort. 

Do you think that guy from Joliet has eclipsed me in Star Wars Trivia in the time it took me to write this?  Surely not.  I mean, it’s only been a minute or two. 

I better check.

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