The Choice

Luca still drinks milk out of a bottle.  There.  I said it.  It’s terrible that we’ve allowed it to continue so long.  In our defense, our pediatrician said he’d outgrow it.  You know what?  That’s a pathetic defense.  Forget I tried to pawn this parenting blunder on her.

Anyhoo, I’m beginning to get the impression if we don’t do something fast I’ll be toasting him at his wedding with a vessel featuring a rubber nipple and ounce markers on the side.

On Saturday, I decided enough was enough.  I called Luca into the kitchen right before naptime.  I had created a small display.  On the left, a bottle of milk.  On the right, a cup filled with milk.  However, in front of the cup I placed a small pile of Skittles. 

Luca stared at the Skittle pile with intense desire.

“Okay,” I said, “Luca.  You have a very important choice to make.  You can either drink your milkie from a baba, or you can drink your milkie from a cup AND get these Skittles.  Which do you choose?”

“I want the baba and the Skittles.”

“No…that’s not how this works.  The only way you get the Skittles is if you…”

Elijah interrupted me by shouting from the other room, “I choose the Skittles and the cup!”

“No, Eli, this isn’t your choice.  Luca, this is your choice…”

And I described his options again.  Luca thought hard.  To his left?  Comfort.  To his right?  Candy.  At long last he said, “I choose Skittles and cup.”

Yeah!  I did it!  I won!  I won!  I scooped up the Skittles and proudly handed them over.  Luca wolfed them down. 

And then he said, “I chanced my mind.  I want the baba.”

He tricked me!  That little genius tricked me!  I informed him that’s not how the deal worked and he can’t double-cross me.  He said he’d drink nothing then.

I sent him to his nap without milk to think about how he made me look stupid.