Friday, October 15, 2010


Luca, my son. You may notice that there hasn’t been a ton of coverage of you since you were born. The weight of the blog always seems to be about your brother Elijah. This is not, I repeat, not because we don’t love you. It’s because you are so good. Mark Twain said, “Humor is tragedy plus time.” Now, I assume you’ll be soon into the stage where your antics are immensely blog worthy. But at your current stage of goodness, all I can blog about is your adorable pointing and even more adorable nose-grabbing. Which, unfortunately doesn’t make for funny posts. But the fact that you don’t do horribly hilariously tragic things is why I love you.

Which leads me to today’s post.

I received an email from Diana yesterday. The contents were simply a video. Now, I don’t post video to HamannEggs. Mostly because I eventually turn these posts into book form and video doesn’t work in paper. But it’s also because I don’t really know how to post video to the site.

So, I will now attempt to describe the contents of the video.

We open on the point of view of a mom. She is walking through our kitchen. We see our cabinets. We see a high chair.

Suddenly, the camera pans to our bathroom entrance. Through the doorway, we reveal Elijah Steven Hamann. He is sitting in our bathroom sink. He is fully clothed and covered in dirt. The sink is halfway full of muddy water.

The light flicks on (Diana loves proper lighting) and Elijah looks into camera with a “Oops” expression. Diana says, “Um. Turn that light on,” and Eli complies by flicking the switch next to the mirror.

Diana says, “Can you tell the folks at home what you’re doing?”

Elijah, trying not to laugh, says, “Sitting in the sink.”

“Why are you sitting in the sink?”

“Because I want to wash myself off. Because look (he lifts a soggy shoe out of the water) I got dirty.”

“How did you get all dirty?”

“Because I was making some cakes…in the dirt.”

“You were making some dirt cakes?”

Elijah cracks a crooked smile. “Yeah.”

“Did they taste good?”

Elijah mumbles something while dipping his hands into the filthy water.

“And can you also tell the folks at home why you are in our sink rather than our tub?”

Elijah responds by turning on the water in the sink. The sink continues to fill with water. “Because I’m filling it up. (Garbled) My shoes!”

The camera focuses on the filthy water, Eli’s filthy shoes. And the mud and dirt caked on the sink.

“My socks!”

Diana says, “Mhmm. Mhmm.” Elijah attempts to stand up, revealing his soaked bottom. She moans, “Elijah…”

The camera pans back out, again revealing the filthy mess.

Diana says, “Not good.”


“Because you are making a big mess.”

Elijah says, “Huh?” And then looks around in genuine surprise that he was responsible for the destruction of our bathroom.

Eli then looks down from the sink, realizing that he has no real way down from the sink. The camera shows the distance from the sink to the floor. Diana says, “And it’s a long way down.”

Fade to black.

Here is the actual link if you want to see it in non-book form:

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