Thursday, October 28, 2010
Elijah has been sleeping in lately. What used to be 6am has drifted gleefully into the 7:30 range. But Luca has been reading “Murphy’s Law: A Baby’s Guide.” So he offsets the new Elijah wake up time by getting up for good at 5:30am.
After changing him and letting him point at my nose a few times, I descend the stairs with Luca and turn on the TV. Inevitably, it will be an infomercial for one of those extremely intense work out systems featuring very fat people who, over the course of one editorial wipe, turn into very thin people who yell a lot. I typically think about working out for 15 whole seconds before opting to lay on the couch.
Sooner or later, I have to shower. Despite being a very advanced baby, I don’t feel comfortable leaving Luca alone while I bathe. I think the Department of Child and Family Services would agree. So I have no other choice but to take him into the bathroom with me.
Here is where I run into problems. Luca doesn’t understand the word “no,” yet. It means as much to him as yelling “platypus” when he does something wrong. And oh, there are lots of things to yell “platypus” at in the bathroom.
Take this morning. After rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, I peeked out of the curtain just in time to see Luca finish unrolling and entire toilet paper roll onto the floor. Platypus!
At which point he moved on to dipping a hand into the toilet. Double Platypus!
Luca then crawled over to the shower curtain and played peek-a-boo with me as I shaved my legs. I mean beard. That is definitely not a “platypus” activity. What’s the opposite of “platypus?” “Pinot Noir?”
But then Luca got really interested in the stuff happening inside the shower. So he tried to join me by climbing into the tub (platypus!). That’s all well and good unless you are wearing a flannel pajama set.
I grabbed him, getting him even more wet (platypus daddy!) and plopped him back down in the center of the bathroom floor. Which made the bathroom floor very, very wet. I made a mental note of blaming the wet floor on Elijah when Diana discovered it.
Luckily, he got the point and moved away from the tub and began using our toilet bowl cleaner as a baton.