A Caterpillar I Guess?

It’s no mystery how I come up with HamannEggs stories. Something strange or funny or sad or poop-filled happens to or near me. Then I mentally think, “Blog post!” One to seven weeks later, poof, a couple hundred words appear online. Complete with at least three proofreading errors.

Sometimes the HamannEggs come fast and furious. They get stacked up and I have to hustle to get them out before I forget.

Other times, there’s a H.E. drought. Where the boys just kind of live their lives. They watch YouTube without getting accosted by Trolls. They play Fornite without smashing our TV. They go on Pokemon Go hunts without getting kidnapped even once.

It’s kind of glorious. But man, it’s bad for the Blog business.

Last Saturday, Luca asked to go on a Pokemon hunt and I thought, “Don’t you mean a Blog material hunt?” I prayed for rain so I’d have something to write about.

We made it a block from our house when a dude started calling after us. A-ha! A scoop! The man looked like he could engage us in a lengthy conversation about his manifesto. You know, five percent stabby. It was a risk I was willing to take.

Fortunately or unfortunately, he just really wanted to show us a caterpillar. It was big and bright and creepy. Not exactly front page material, but it was something.

I suggested we take the caterpillar home and confine it in a jar. Maybe it would turn into a beautiful butterfly. Maybe it would die. Either way, I could fill my HamannEggs quota.

Luca was very concerned about keeping the caterpillar alive. Okay, fine. We filled a Mason jar with grass and sticks and some water. We invited the cuter than cute neighbors over to help us name it. Their suggestions were hardly blogworthy. Come on. “Greeny?” Sheesh.

We set the jar outside and I mentally reminded myself to check on it the next morning. Maybe I’d get to write a funny caterpillar funeral story.

Diana came home from work and made us set the creature free. Her reasoning was something anti-Trump. We tipped over the jar and the little guy crawled out, definitely not to be immediately eaten by a raccoon.

So, yeah. Caterpillars are neat, huh? School starts soon, so maybe one of the kids will fall in love or have a bathroom accident.