Adventure Time

I’m entering a weird time with Elijah. He is still the most caring, funny, friendly kid on the face of the Earth. Proof: we got a note from his school calling out the fact that he took it upon himself to help a kid on crutches throughout the whole day, without being asked. We have the red form letter to prove it.

But I can feel him pulling away from me. Which breaks my heart into tiny little bitter pieces. No, he is not a jerk about it. We used to lay on his bed and read late at night, or tell secrets, or give each other advice. We called this “Be Withs.” Well, Eli isn’t into them anymore. He plays it off wonderfully by saying things like, “You must be tired from work, Dad. We don’t have to do Be Withs.”

Ouch.

And I find it harder and harder to force him to play with me. Again, he blows me off kindly. “Maybe later,” is his most common refrain.

Every ounce of my being wants to chain him to his radiator and make him laugh at my witticisms. But I’ve decided to take another tact: pushing him from the nest.

I realized he needs this. He needs to figure out who he is outside our family cocoon. He needs to become Eli, not just Hamann Boy #1. This is all part of growing up. It doesn’t make it any less devastating to me.

So, I’ve been sending out of the house on Adventures. The rules are simple: Go get some friends. Go walk around and get into wholesome trouble. Bring your phone. Don’t get arrested.

He resisted at first. The warm glow of YouTube is too comforting. But after I threatened him, he went out with pals.

And then, darkness. He came home several hours later. Happy, older, wiser, and with a bag full of candy purchased with all his allowance. I didn’t ask what happened, nor were any details offered.

At least I can still make Luca hang out with me.