The Walk

All of my anxiety, all of my panic and skittishness and social awkwardness can be traced back to one event in my life: The day our mom forgot to pick us up after school.

Through some miscommunication (pantomimes smoking weed), my brother and stood out in front of our school dressed in matching yellow rain slickers for hours. Crying. Granted, we lived less than a mile from the building. And in retrospect, it may not have been hours and was more likely minutes. But it scarred me for life and causes behavior like hiding in the bushes around the corner from a Elijah and Luca’s recent sleepover to guarantee I arrived at precisely 7 minutes early.

Luca is the proud recipient of my abandonment genes and requested we arrive at a recent Cubs game two hours early. Much to my delight.

Eli, on the other hand, is built a little differently. As evidenced by his reaction to getting totally abandoned at camp.

Everyone who cares for our son simultaneously thought someone else was picking him up and he found himself standing in front of his “Stage Combat” camp all alone. Not crying. Not in a yellow rain slicker. Rather than embark in a lifelong struggle with panic attacks, he decided to walk home across town.

This involved convincing his camp counselors that walking home was not only ok, but specifically requested by his absent parents. The counselors, who by nature are easily charmed by Eli, simply shook his hand and wished him well on his adventure.

When he told me about this, I thought, “Well, he had his fancy phone so if things went weird he could call for help.” But, no. He went on his trek phoneless.

I know a lot of you are thinking, “Kids today are too coddled. In the 1980’s, I hitchhiked across Utah when I was 8.” Yeah, I get that. But it’s 2018 and things are different and weird and this probably wasn’t the time to completely change a generation of child rearing.

Anyway, Eli made his way across the mean streets of Evanston. Dodging clusters of protesting college students and Priuses and the 60 pound raccoon that terrorizes Ridge Ave.

He says he only got semi lost a couple times and arrived home safe and sound. To the surprise of all who thought he was with someone else.

Since then, we require him to bring his phone to camp to avoid any other confusion and/or growth opportunities. But I also allowed him to go see a movie with some pals on Saturday, sans parents.

Which gave me the opportunity to smother Luca with overprotection.