Waves

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, gang. It’s been a little busier than usual here at the advertising quarry and I simply haven’t had a chance to write. But that doesn’t mean I’m lacking in material. I still have a few vacation stories to tell.

Like the time I almost killed Elijah in the sea.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I HATE wading into a cold sea. It feels like red hot needles dipped in Newman’s Own Salsa. Often, while playing with the boys, I would only be able to get knee deep before my body gave out, leaving me to simply wave to Eli and Luca as they played.

On one such beautiful Mexican day, the boys (bored with my lack of desire to get into the water) convinced Diana to take out her hearing aids and join them in the surf. I stood, shivering while the three of them shrieked with absolute glee. They frolicked, let themselves get pummeled by wave after wave and kept an eye out for a replacement dad.

Later in the day, after a long screen/nap session, we went back down to the beach. Out of spite and jealousy, I loudly proclaimed that I was going to join the boys in the real waves.

Little did we know, that the afternoon wave sesh (what the locals called it) was much rougher than earlier. Luca and Eli and I got absolutely destroyed by the waves, but in a fun PG-13 way. Eli loved it. Luca tired of it pretty fast and decided to go bury himself in sand.

Eli and I decided to be big boys and go farther out into the water to really experience the rough stuff. We wanted Rated R waves.

We waded out to Eli-chest level and almost immediately realized the error of our ways. Not only could I no longer hold onto him, I couldn’t maintain my own footing. Lost my balance and got knocked off my feet.

I surfaced to see Eli quickly getting pulled out to sea. I shouted, “Eli. Get over here!” Like he was simply being naughty and not kidnapped by Poseidon.

I leapt over to him and pulled him into my hip. He said, “I’m scared,” and I shouted, “Hold on to me!”

We safely made it to shore and hugged each other. I looked up and met eyes with two Lifeguards, who could not have greater expressions of boredom on their faces.