Gun March

You can guess where Diana is on the violent videogame debate. Especially after the most recent tragedy in Florida. If it were up to her, she would round up every violent video game in the world and blow them all to smithereens. But that’s violent in its own way, Diana. Shame on you.

I’m far more lenient. I won’t let them play the ones where you kill realistic looking people with blood all over the place. But I’m ok with the ones where realistic looking aliens kill realistic looking robots and cartoony people kill cartoony people.

Why? Because I love playing them.

On the Eve of the anti-gun “March For Our Lives,” Diana suddenly declared all gun games off limits. The boys reacted to this like getting shot by a super cool gun in a video game. The kind that liquefies you.

Apparently, when the kids in Eli and Luca’s school participated in an anti gun walk out earlier in the week, one of Luca’s friends spotted a helicopter in the sky above the event and shouted, “I’m gonna shoot you out of the sky! I’m gonna shoot you!”

Diana and the offender’s mom decided it was the video games’ fault and the ban began.

Diana couldn’t make the gun march, so I kept the boys’ spirits up by playing “Parent’s Just Don’t Understand” by the Fresh Prince on the way.

Eli muttered, “Yeah. Parent’s just don’t understand about gun games.” I said, “Yes. That’s exactly why I’m playing…never mind.”

We attended the march and were properly inspired, but the boys were still long faced about their digital arsenals. Over lunch, I suggested we look up “Best non-violent video games” and I would buy them one.

The website’s suggestions included, and I am not making this up, “Flower” and “Desert Golf.”

We ended up buying a baseball game and something called “Ultimate Chicken Horse.” By the sounds of it, “Ultimate Chicken Horse” will do more damage to them than blood splatter.

Later that night, our neighbors came over for pizza and wine. And instead of screams of death and maiming from the basement, we heard laughter.

And chickens.