PTC 2016

Last night was parent teacher conference night. We had to split up duties since Elijah won’t take my advice to act dumb enough to get left back to Kindergarten.

After I announced that being late to school setting may cause a bolt to come loose in my brain, Diana told me I was doing Luca’s conference, because she got yelled at by the Kindergarten teacher last time. I was fine with it because Kindergarten was where I peaked anyway.

I sat in the tiny plastic chair and paid attention and raised my hand to speak and cooperated and desperately wanted a sticker. It was pretty painless. Luca is progressing along nicely though his reading and math and doesn’t editorialize when saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

Then she hit me with a right cross.

“But he has a few anxiety issues. He’s fairly timid when it comes to trying new things.”

This was the perfect opportunity for me to blame Diana, but I blurted out, “It’s all my fault. He inherited my broken DNA. I’m filled with anxiety all the time and it’s my panicked blood in his veins!”

His teacher scooted back a few inches and her eyes darted to the exit. We discussed techniques for dealing with Luca’s timidity and nerves, but I got the distinct impression she was directing her advice towards me.

She then offered to walk me down to Diana, because she didn’t want me to get lost (and break down into tears). We strolled the halls and she occasionally patted my arm in a “there, there” gesture.

We arrived and found Diana and Eli’s teacher laughing like old pals. Eli’s conference was terrific. His instructor called him the Mayor of Third Grade and said she would love to just sit and listen to him talk all day. 

She then asked if I could get her an Onion calendar.

I never got to thank Luca’s teacher because she had run away, most likely screaming.